I just came from church. I attended one of the Christmas traditions that we have here in the Philippines called "Simbang Gabi.", also known as "Misa de Gallo". I haven't done this in a long while. I'm trying to recall the last time that I went, and I really couldn't remember. I think it may go as far back as elementary or early high school. 😅 However, one thing's for sure: I haven't participated in this tradition in the last 10 years due to circumstances of my work schedule and our family tradition. My family would either attend church on the night of Christmas Eve or in the morning of Christmas Day. So, I really didn't have this "Simbang Gabi" tradition inculcated in my life. Well, life is full of surprises, as I found myself attending this mass today.

Things were crazy busy, especially for this month. Aside from the buzz of work, there were lots of vacations here and there, and of course get-togethers and parties held during the holidays. As an introvert, my social battery was in dangerous levels of depletion. However, just last night, I saw the opportunity to attend this early morning mass. I asked my niece if she wanted to come with me. As an energetic youth that she is, she said yes. Despite both of us being physically swamped the day before, I set my alarm at 3:30AM in time for mass.

I felt really groggy when the alarm went off a few hours later. Despite that, I had this feeling that I needed to go to church today. I tried to nudge my niece to wake her up, to no avail. I told myself, nah maybe I'll just go back to sleep myself. However, during this time, I heard a voice, loud and clear in my head:

I immediately got jolted awake to my senses. That question was powerful. And then I felt my energy shift. I am now committing myself 100% into doing this, despite being on my own. So with just several minutes to spare, I prepared to go out quickly. I had to double check our church's Facebook page to confirm if there was indeed mass for this morning because what a bummer it would be if I walked out alone at 4:00AM, searching for a mass that didn't exist. 😐

When I started to walk outside, it was still dark. It was quiet. I continued walking (our church was a few minutes walk from our house) and thought "Hmm I'm really the only one walking now." However, I didn't feel afraid, since I knew and believed that there was a mass to be held at church. Soon enough, the church came to my view. It was beautifully lit up for Christmas. There were also a few more people walking in groups towards the same direction. At that moment, I felt safer and sure of my footsteps. 💖

I arrived just in time for the opening hymn. The church was full of people! As I found my place in the room, I realized that this was my first visit again after attending a mass here several months back with someone special to me (at that time). I realized I did end up visiting places that I've been with him in the past months, and I am blessed to receive the peace and lightness that I was praying for. That was what I felt as I visited church today.

It's been a while since I attended "Simbang Gabi" so I'm not sure if it's really held this way, but the priest's homily was only short (I think it lasted for around 3 minutes only). I was a bit surprised because of this. I was already preparing myself to listen for nuggets of wisdom, from the priest, that might give me comfort, but it ended so quickly. 😅 

Despite attending this mass alone (still feeling sleepy), I didn't feel lonely. I felt at peace and connected with God. I knew He called me to be in that mass. I offered my prayers to this one thing that I will be doing before the year ends -- hiking. I actually just bought hiking shoes yesterday and I'm in the process of breaking them in so they are ready for the actual hike. Those are the shoes that I wore today so as an added purpose, I was able to break-in the shoes for today. I have knee issues so this activity felt really daunting for me. Despite that, I gave myself permission to receive the challenge. This sacrifice is my offering to God. With a few days more to prepare, I'm doing my best to be physically fit for the hike. I have been doing exercises so as to prepare and minimize the injuries and impact on the knee during the hike. I'm placing myself in God's grace, that I will be able to come out of that activity stronger and unscathed.

Also, one of my life's biggest questions is now being answered. I'm receiving this message to take things one step at a time. No one knows the whole picture of their life purpose. I just have to continue placing each foot in front of the other, with God as my guide. I pray that I will always hear His voice clearly (that's why it is really important to tone down the noise) and receive His guidance so that He can lead me to the bigger purpose I have in this world.

With that knowledge and blessing, I feel at peace with this life. I don't need to have it all figured out; no one does. But in every step, I pray and have faith that I will be guided in the correct direction. In that journey, one step at a time, I will fulfill God's purpose for me in this world. I went home, from church, with a lighter heart and a stronger motivation to be a better person. 

I thank the Lord, for all the blessings and guidance. I'm excited to celebrate Christmas Eve today and tomorrow with my family, who are the most important people to me in this world. I'm really feeling the festivities now. ✨

 

It doesn't come much as a surprise that I became a follower of this podcast, since I am a true blue rusher at heart (I have been to the Top 10 book signing in 2012 and also visited the "kikay barkada" at the station AND I have to mention that my entry was part of The Morning Rush top 10 (book 2) so yes, my fandom comes from way way back). With Delamar officially leaving the Morning Rush in 2016, it was a pleasant surprise for me to discover that she was still active in broadcasting, now in the form of podcasts.

For Monica and Gelli, I didn't know them that much during their radio days, but as I listened to the Eve's Drop podcast, I got to know them better. Monica is the co-owner (together with her husband) of the Sweet X restaurant (also known as Sweet Ecstasy), one of my favorites in the metro (they have the best burgers in town!). For Gelli, well, let's just say that she's just the woman who introduced me to Thetahealing in 2020, which changed my perspective of the world, when I most needed it.

These three women were my anchors during the pandemic and during the culmination of the "dark night of the soul" phase of my life, so I really owe a lot of my values as a woman to these three. 🥰 In a previous post, I mentioned that I really thought long and hard if I should push through with attending the concert or go with the live recording of this podcast. I'll just expound my thought process at the end of this post on how I arrived at my decision.

As soon as I have set my decision that I would indeed attend the live recording of The Eve's Drop podcast, I have arranged myself to go to the office on a Friday. The venue of the recording was in The Pod Network in Mandaluyong. The call time for the live recording audience was 5PM. I arrived there just in time and I saw there were still a few people in line. When I entered the venue, the first one I spotted was Jude Rocha, seated in the audience area. Then, I saw familiar faces of the OG rushers. I was able to do some quick small talk with one of them (hi JRhyan!). I was able to befriend the lady beside me (hi Jo!) and we talked a lot for the whole night. 😁

They informed us that they will be recording two podcast episodes that night, so I already prepared myself that I would be staying for the event for hours (no chance really to attend the concert, which was in MOA arena in Pasay 🥲). While waiting, there were several activities for us. Well, the first activity was EATING! Sweet X graciously gave us free burgers (wohoo!) 

The first episode that they recorded was the one with the Boys Night Out hosts. It was already around 8PM then when the second episode recording started. As sleepy as I already was (heh coffee didn't have an effect), I was giddy to go inside together with four other people. As I took my seat inside the recording booth, I couldn't help but just be star stuck with all these people in front of me.

Parker, Del's second son, was also there in the room. He was watching the recording alongside us. 🥰

For the second episode, they were to read letters requesting advice from them that the listeners sent in. Initially I had the inkling to send one (regarding my top-of-mind emotional experience) but decided against it because I was already tired of dwelling and ruminating in it. Well, the Universe had other plans. 😂The first letter that they read was in parallel with my current emotional burdens. The similarities were uncanny like it was a letter that I wrote myself. I felt like I share the same soul with that letter sender. 😢 The only difference that I found was the timeline of the relationship and that there was cheating involved in the relationship (well that also occurred in mine, I'm sure, in more ways than I was aware of).

The advice that these ladies gave to this listener 100% hit the bullet for me, as well. I was bawling my eyes (and nose) out, as silent as possible because I didn't want the mics to catch the sound of me noisily clearing my nose. At that moment, I understood why the Universe wanted me to be there. It was not enough that I listen to this advice in a podcast recording. I needed to hear, feel, and see their energies in real time as they give these nuggets of wisdom, for me to truly receive and process the messages that they were telling us.

As I listened to each of the advices they gave, I really could feel that they've been through the same pain, and they have emerged on the other side as a stronger version of themselves. Hearing those nuggets of wisdom gave me A LOT of comforting energy that yes, me too, I'll be able to get through this and become stronger in life, just like them. 🥲

At the end of the recording, I realized I was not the only one bawling my heart out. One of the five listeners with me in the room, who took the photos of us, chatted with me for a bit. She also told me that she was also holding tissues while watching the live recording. 😂 Because of this experience, I got to really witness how universal to humankind the pain of undergoing a heartache from a romantic breakup. While each of us have unique heartbreak stories and experiences, the advice that people can give can be applicable to everyone. I am truly thankful to the Universe that I got to experience this. That night, as I released more of the remaining pain in my heart through the tears in my eyes, my soul got refreshed and got to heal some more.

After the recording was done, we took these photos, thanks to my fellow Eve's gang listener, I got to have a photo with them hahaha. I wouldn't be able to ask for photos from them (with my current emotional state at that time) so really thanks for this, I got to have photos with everyone. 😁

I left the venue that night with my eyes swollen but my heart full. I was 100% sure, with all the signs and validations from the Universe, that my decision was right to attend this live recording over going to that concert.

And so, this was my thought process in deciding where to go between these two events: the concert or the live recording. I felt like these two choices represented choosing my younger self (concert) or choosing my future self (live recording) --to reminisce about the old times with Vanessa Carlton's music or to show up for my future self by meeting the women I look up to.

With the concert of Vanessa Carlton, I recognized that it would fulfill a childhood dream of meeting my idol, someone I longed to see live in concert. As a music enthusiast, it was a big deal for me. However, the things that stopped me from doing that are -- first: I felt like the part of me that loves or longs for Vanessa's music has already faded away. To be frank, Vanessa Carlton's craft of music has changed throughout the years. The fact that she seldom plays her older songs in recent years, which were my favorites, indicates that she has moved on from that kind of music. But since she knew that that's what the crowd wants, she played them for that night's show. But that's not what she currently is. She also has changed and is now singing different songs. It's as if she's also looking at her past self for that concert, and I felt like I didn't want to see that version of Vanessa. And that's my second reason. I wanted to see her most authentic side, singing songs and enjoying performing on stage at the highest level of happiness and fulfillment possible.

I felt like if I went to the concert, I would just be chasing ghosts from the past. I thought long and hard and came to the conclusion that it's time for me to close that chapter of my life. I love Vanessa; I've been a fan of her music, but seeing her now in concert would not have the same impact on me as it would have been 10 years ago. 

Now, the other option I had was going to the Eve's Drop live recording. I compared how attending this event would impact me. The hosts of the Eve's Drop podcast are women that are very strong and accomplished in their respective areas, and I know that going to the recording would allow me to experience something that would serve my future self more because I would gain nuggets of wisdom from them. Also, attending the podcast recording aligns with my current identity and values. I felt that going to the podcast recording would serve my future self more. Also, the fact that the live recording was free of charge was also a factor. 😂 Attending the concert would mean I would be spending thousands of pesos to be in the best seats to watch Vanessa Carlton. 💸So also in terms of financial factors, going to the live recording was the more practical one. 😁

So I was really glad that I came to that conclusion. I stuck to it, fleshing out the pros and cons. I was glad because when I finally made the decision, I really committed to it. Nothing swayed my feelings anymore. And the Universe echoed back that energy. ✨

This was another core memory for me. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you. 🙏

~o~

The Eve's Drop Podcast | Facebook | Instagram

And so that fateful night, which coincided with the new moon's peak, I received a reading from Madame Jin, and her readings resonated well with me. I got to verbalize some things about myself that I only got to realize during that reading, which made me cry. I got a bit embarrassed because I tend to cry a lot lately, but I believe Madame Jin did not mind. 😁

I cannot give specifics about the question I asked the cards (I will reveal when the right time comes), but the cards gave a resounding "yes". It was just up to me to make things happen. It was comforting to see The Magician card during that reading because that is something that came up with Ashley's reading before and I cannot ignore the parallel meanings that those two readings had for me. I feel like the Universe is really hinting on something. 😉

Also, it's so powerful to receive words of affirmation from the Universe. ✨I was reminded of my path, and yes as of this writing, I am taking steps to progress towards it. The timing is ripe to take that leap of faith.

And so some notes to myself: increase your vibration, state your heart's utmost desire and then let it go as if it's done. Believe in your capabilities (you are a master manifestor 💖). You may be feeling stuck today, but as the Universe aligns things in your favor, you will achieve all of your wildest dreams.

I am excited for my future self to look back at this post and confirm that yes, I did make my dreams come true. 🥲

I spent my Sunday morning today in a different way than usual. At 7:30AM, I found myself driving to Molito, Alabang to meet up with some of my Toastmaster friends. We were not going to talk about public speaking. We would be gathering for a different reason, this time.

Opting in, what I knew about our session today was that we would be talking about something religious-related since I knew my friend that invited me is a Christian. Well, I'm open in terms of religion. I don't restrict myself to just one religion since I'm more of a spiritual person. I said yes to the session because I have known this friend for a while and I could feel that she is a good person (she was the one who invited me to that meeting that changed something in me). Together with her was another good Toastmaster friend so I knew I was in a safe space.

Vanessa's debut album! ✨

I didn't have any physical albums of hers so I was so happy to see one in the wild. I believe I wanted to buy Heroes and Thieves back then, but since I was still a student and had a very tight budget, I didn't push for it. 😅

And then a few more minutes later, my new Indonesian friend arrived! I introduced him to my new group of friends and we just chatted away. And OMG he is a hard-core fan. He even had the Rabbits on the Run album art inked in his forearm, like damn. He's so cool. He said it will be his first time to meet Vanessa, and he really took the chance. It was also his first time in the country. We both understood that seeing her in a show in Asia in this scale (in an arena) is a "now or never" situation. Vanessa is more of an indie artist now and tours mostly in the US. Her music has massively changed also through the years, and honestly, the last album that I still had a connection with is Rabbits on the Run. Her newer albums are not really my cup of tea. 😅

And then the presscon started. I wasn't able to get the host's name. 😅 But I did hear that she's a radio dj.

First up on stage was David Archuleta. I got to watch him in American Idol back then and I love singing along to his older songs like "Crush", "Touch My Hand", and "A Little Too Not Over You". It was a treat that he sang his newer single "Can I Call You", which is actually a song added in my playlist.

I saw familiar faces in the press: concert photographers like Kris Rocha (whom I had a concert photography workshop with), Danilo Factor, and music event page admins like Kevin Pableo of Manila Concerts Scene. I'm glad to see that they are still very passionate about what they do. 💖