First of all, welcome back my old self. I missed you big time. 🫂I feel like this has been my most relaxed nervous system for the past few months. I'm so proud to have found my old self again. I take pride in all the work that I have done for myself. I did choose myself, this time. 🥰 My headspace has really found its peace.

Of course, I recognize that healing is not linear. There are still times when the dimming clouds come, but they don't affect me as much as before. It's more manageable in a sense that they don't disrupt my routine. The bulk of the credit is me (😁), but of course I didn't come to this point all by myself.

First of all, I thank God for all the guidance He gave me throughout this journey. 🙏

Second, to my friends, who really were there for me. I had countless intimate conversations with them. I feel like I overshared a lot 😅 but I really felt like I was not judged at all. Those exchanges put things into perspective and all that they told me was that I should have told them these things sooner so they could have given me advice. Oh well, I have learned things the hard way. I just know that these are really my genuine friends. They've seen me in my lowest and didn't leave me there. They are helping me find my way back up. ✨I am forever grateful to them. 🥺

The fact that I started to seek professional help was a huge factor for this shift of energy. There came a point wherein it has become very challenging for me to manage my emotions, and that's when I knew I needed help. I am grateful that I have access to resources that allowed me to seek professional therapy. With just a few sessions in, all the fog got lifted and I was able to see what happened for what it was. Specific memories resurfaced during the sessions, even those long-forgotten conversations that I remembered that brought the missing pieces into the puzzle. It was a huge revelation. From an outsider, it was clear as day to what was happening. It stung. A LOT. My brain tried to rationalize if it was really what happened. However, deep inside me, I knew that I had known all of that all along. I just chose to ignore all of it. Healing starts with the awareness. I can now process that experience now that I have full understanding of it. 

In terms of work, things are getting better. I finally got to deploy a project that has been on the grill for months. It was an emotional rollercoaster handling this project, the biggest one I've had so far. Now that it has finished, I feel a lot lighter. I got teary-eyed when my boss thanked me for all the hard work and tenacity that I have shown to wrap up that project. The Universe knows how much blood, sweat, and tears I shed for it. It felt like an uphill journey from the start, but because I got help, I got through it. Thanks to all my teammates for being there with me. We'll all be getting together soon to celebrate this. We're going to a Japanese restaurant. I'll tell them all the wagyu beef will be on me. 😉

Also, we received the best news possible regarding my mom's health. Again, thank you, Lord. 🥺

Last but not the least, I want to express my appreciation to this person. I know he won't be able to read this, but well I just want to send out this energy to the Universe. I want to express how appreciative I was (and still am) for all the simple gestures that he has shown me. He didn't need to do those, but he still did. I felt so seen during all those very vulnerable moments of my life. He's a very gentle soul, a passionate individual, and I really feel he is a person of discipline based on how he navigates the world. I am very thankful that I got to be in the same circle with him. I treasure all the opportunities that I get to interact with him. I was able to show sides of me, my creative sides, that I have never shown to anyone. 🎹 I'm also entertained to see a side of him that I have never seen before. 🎤It's fascinating to learn that we share a lot of interests. I'm admiring him from a distance. He is one of the stars that have guided me during this time in my life. To you, thank you. ✨

I'm feeling very grateful, to everyone and on everything. My deepest thank you to everyone that has been with me in this journey. Things are getting better.  🙏✨