Some recent experiences have helped me step further out of my comfort zone, thanks to my mentors. One thing I learned recently is this: I don’t need to be perfect to produce something. I also coincidentally came across this post on Instagram:
I am applying this principle to my approach to playing the piano.
The piano has always had some kind of appeal to me. I even believe that I was a pianist in a past life, which is why I feel this unexplainable connection to the instrument. 😁 I already have a piano accessible to me, but it always felt like I didn’t have the time to play. Sometimes, I also felt like I couldn’t create anything because it wasn’t “perfect” enough. Of course, playing well comes from consistent practice, and that is what I have been lacking in this area.
This time last year, I got to compose a song because I was very inspired. It had been a while since I had felt that way. That first time was exhilarating because I never thought I would be able to compose something, but I did.
One day after work, I felt a sudden drive and motivation to dust off my piano, which had been sitting in the corner, and I tried to play again. These are some of the songs I’ve been wanting to truly harness: songs that are very close to my heart and that I want to be able to play whenever I need cheering up or when I want to self-regulate.
100 Years (Five for Fighting)
This song has always been precious to me. I first heard it when I was 15, and it instantly became a favorite. It carries such a wonderful message. The lyrics mention different ages, and I’ve already passed the ages of 15, 22, and 33 that are referenced in the song. I feel like this piece is slowly becoming one of the songs that truly define my life.
I have so many memories associated with it, and I really love the piano parts. This is one song I would love to play in its entirety as part of my repertoire. However… I’ve only ever mastered the intro. 😅
Back in college, I remember playing it on the piano at the Vargas Museum. I hope I can finally go past the first verse, reach the chorus, and play it from start to finish. 🤞
A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton)
My love for Vanessa Carlton is all over this blog. I truly adore her, which is why it was a life-changing moment for me when I got to meet her in person last year.
One of the first songs I ever learned on the piano was her iconic “A Thousand Miles.” Recently, just out of muscle memory, I tried playing it again from beginning to end.
I remember performing this at one of my friend’s debut parties in college. I honestly don’t know where I found the confidence to play. 🤣 I distinctly remember making a mistake, but I was so high on adrenaline from playing in front of a crowd that I didn’t even care. I also got to perform it during Apps’ Night in one of the orgs I joined, and I vividly remember the crowd singing along. 💕
This will always be my all-time favorite song. It’s one of the tracks I burned onto a CD (remember those days? hahaha). It has been with me through all stages of my life. And now, as I sing and play it again, new layers of meaning and emotion have been added: shaped by the experiences I’ve had recently.
Every Teardrop is a Waterfall (Coldplay)
This is the current song I’m studying.
It’s one of my favorite Coldplay songs, and I recently revisited it. I’m still coping with, and carrying, grief from my experiences last year. When I heard this song again, it brought literal tears. I feel like its message reflects the headspace I’m currently in. When it came up first on shuffle in my playlist, the waterworks were in full display again. I felt like the song was truly connecting with me.
There’s a kind of high, a kind of catharsis, that I feel when I listen to it. And it doubles when I play it myself. This is one of the songs I would love to perform in front of a crowd. One of my daydreams is that whenever I see a piano in public, I can casually pull a few pieces from my sleeve, and this would be one of them.
I will keep practicing. It’s not perfect, but I can monitor my progress by recording myself and listening back. That’s what I plan to do from here on.
That’s the beauty of this journey, and it has always been the goal of this blog from the start: to document my progress and my goals. As much as this space has evolved over the years, it helps to return to the core: to the very reason why I started in the first place.
I’m glad to return to one of the things that truly makes me happy.
This is my way of regulating my nervous system and simply enjoying music again. Music is such a huge blessing in my life, and I’m thankful that I have the means to create it myself.
It brings me joy, especially during these times when I most needed it. ✨
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