• Attending the first birthday party of our neighbor's daughter. I literally grew up alongside my neighbors. I saw familiar faces but they just all looked older. I don't see them that much even if we're all living in the same street (because I seldom go outside LOL) and they were also surprised to see me all grown up as well 😅. It kinda felt like a family reunion. One neighbor boldly asked me if I had plans of getting married, and surprisingly, I didn't get offended at all. I just blurted out "bahala na" (in God's will) since I couldn't really control that kind of thing to happen. I felt some kind of relief being able to respond in that way. It's like I'm telling the Universe that I am open to  possibilities. I didn't want to say a straight "yes" because it feels like I'm in a state of wanting and longing, which leaves some bitter taste in my mouth. I wouldn't say a "no" because just like what Justin Bieber said, never say never. 🤣 Bahala na. What will happen, will happen. For now, my focus is really just to improve myself and to love myself more. 💗

• (Still) struggling with productivity and self-discipline. These bad habits became pronounced in February of this year, and here we are at the end of the year, still tormented by it. I'm beginning to question myself -- do I need some change in scenery? Am I in a rut? Is this still a phase or has my standards become this low? 😭 As I struggle with productivity, a high level of stress and anxiety persists within me. This is not good for my overall health, so I really need to smash these demons out of my system and out of my life. 😢

• Having more dentist adventures. The more I frequent the dentist, the more I realize how poor my dental hygiene is. But I'm so happy to finally correct those habits. Did you know that you should not immediately rinse your mouth with water after brushing? Toothpaste leaves a layer of fluoride after we brush and if we leave it there, it helps for the teeth to absorb that, making them stronger and healthier. I now have a more sophisticated dental routine that involves dental floss, water flosser, and of course the toothbrush (no more glass of water included 😉).

• Attending our company's year-end party. It was so worth it going on-site. It's nice to dress up and meet with my colleagues and just have fun! I didn't win in the raffle (😥) but I really had a great time! I even had the opportunity to visit one of our friends' houses after the party and did karaoke until 2 in the morning. 😊

• Getting my APE results. And here comes the signs of aging. 😔I really need to start changing my lifestyle for the better. 🏃‍♀️🥬🍎

• Staying at my sister's house during the holidays. It was such a great adventure! We had lots of bonding time through eating, visiting places, shopping for clothes, and watching movies at night. I especially enjoyed being cuddled at night by their cat. She's the sweetest cat ever! 😽

• Joining a seminar from Dar, BDJ Planner's founder. Her story is inspiring and her seminar was very helpful in helping me visualize my goals. I'm so happy I purchased my second planner from them. I can't wait to use it to plan and achieve my goals next year. 💖

• Printer at home. It is an investment, and I believe it's worth it.
• Mindful eating. I have tried it a few times and it's changing the way I look at food while I'm actually consuming it. I find it more delightful when I eat my food without any distractions (TV or music/podcast). This is indeed a game changer!

• A person's trash can be another person's treasure.
• Humans are a bunch of complicated multi-dimensional beings that are capable of evolving for the better.
• New places introduce new insights.
• Pets are therapeutic.
• A home is a house made out of love.

• Going to a mall in Pasig for a blog-sponsored visit. I super liked this experience because I got to visit a new place and try great food while also being able to avail of free services as a blogger! It's been a while since I received offers for a blog feature on the site so I'm really thankful for that opportunity.  ✨

• Watching the livestream of TwoSetViolin's 4M Celebration concert. Discovering their channel really helped me become entertained during the lockdown of 2020, and they have inspired me so much in their journey to where they are. So proud of them boys. 💗

• Starting the "Dare to Love" podcast. I got inspired to start another one, this time circling around the theme of the BDJ Dare To Dream kit that I purchased. I'm still figuring out how the show would generally flow, but I have already published episode one. I will not link it here, but it's out there on the interwebs.

• Attending my first live concert in 3 years. It was a breath of fresh air, and I super missed the vibe of being an audience in a concert. It was a Jacob Collier concert and I'm just so happy to be able to participate in the audience choir singing that he does in every show. 

• Undergoing my second dental surgery. The first few hours after the surgery was the most painful, but after the pain killers kicked in, I was okay. I was already eating solid food the next day. 🤣 I'm so happy I'm done with this. It's something that I should have done several years back, but you know what, as they say... It's better late than never. 😁🦷

•  New office chair. I had to replace my current one because the wheels got broken again, and my DIY fix didn't work. So I bought a Sihoo Office chair as recommended personally by people I know + what I read on the forums. I'm satisfied with it so far.
• Disney+. I have not really watched anything, but I'm excited to watch more shows on this new live streaming platform.
• Tasty. I have discovered the app on the iPhone and I discovered a lot of doable recipes that are delicious like the Easy Slow Cooker Mozzarella-Stuffed Meatballs And Sauce, the Slow Cooker Creamed Corn, and Egg Breakfast Cups. I super enjoyed discovering new recipes and the ways I could transform the usual food that we have in the pantry to glorious dishes.

• The simplest moments give the highest level of happiness.
• The old and boring can transform to something new and beautiful.
• Dreams can come true.
• No pain, no gain.
• Life is all about collecting experiences and learning from them.

💃 Experiences

⛰️ Accomplishments / Milestones

🧠Game Changers

💡 Takeaways

💃 Experiences

⛰️ Accomplishments / Milestones

🧠Game Changers

💡 Takeaways

• Stumbling onto my Diary of 2005. It was very interesting to read my thoughts as a high school student. I even was able to document my feelings upon graduation and entering college. It was cringe most of the time, but I was proud to realize that I still hold the same values 'til today. I find happiness in the simplest of things, and I am always thankful.

• Attending a Virtual Healing for a Cause. It was my second time attending, and it's always an interesting experience each time. My healer told me things that I realized were my truth, and that really amazed me. Sadly, we ran out of time so we had to cut short our session, but that conversation gave me surprising insights of myself and how I view my life.
  
  By the way, I made it to the Third Eye Wellness site! 😆This screenshot was taken during the first virtual healing that I attended wherein I volunteered for the demo session.
  
  
  

• (Almost) losing one of my cats. Ooh, this is a tough one. Well to cut the long painful story short, One of our cats fell ill and didn't eat for several days, but she thankfully survived. I was already in the acceptance stage that she'll be dying, but I found that she was still alive and breathing. So I ended up force-feeding her through a syringe and gave her vitamins until she felt well again. And now I cherish that cat even more. I think it would hurt deeper now if I lose her. Huhu. I love you Cloudybells. ☁️😻

• Viewing the Moon and Mars from my window. It was a magical moment, and I thank the Universe for that gift. 🌕✨

• Connecting with younger souls. I truly believe the kids will be alright. I'm excited to see the great things my nieces will be able to accomplish in the future.

• Participating in my sister's house blessing. I have never felt so at ease with a house before. It's radiant with positive energy. I'm so proud. Thank you Universe for giving me a role model, showing me that great things are possible for everyone. ✨
• Saying goodbye to the puppies and the kitten. It's a bittersweet farewell, especially for the kitten that I have learned to love. However, I very well know that they would be in the perfect home for them, and that they would be well taken-cared of.
• Going back home and absorbing the officiality of it all. I felt the dreaded sinking feeling. Changes are happening and I need to learn how to cope. I was realizing that there were infinite possibilities on how my life could go on, and I didn't need to fixate myself towards one specific path. I will trust the process. Things will fall onto its rightful places.
• Cleaning my sister's room. It was kind of therapeutic really. It was also symbolic. I took some of the belongings she left and placed them in boxes. I proceeded with cleaning the room and vacuuming years worth of dust. 😅 Then I rearranged my things and moved some of them to the room also. I unofficially made the room my second space. I felt a sense of calmness from this activity, and also some level of acceptance from all the events that have happened. Moving into my sister's room (partially) made me realize how lacking sunlight my room was. And her room had a window facing the sunrise. It was a game changer sleeping in her room for the first time, because I was awakened by the chirping of birds and the warm sunlight. I realized that I wanted more of this. This feels like a metaphor of what I wanted to happen in my life.
• Attending Tuesday Downloads with Maisha. This was a weekly meditation session being done by Third Eye Wellness over at Instagram. I got teary-eyed with the downloads for romantic love, which meant that that area really has a trigger to me. I'm carefully navigating that part of my humanity. You know what, que será, será. What will be, will be.
• Feeling left out at Toastmasters Awards. I just felt a bit envious of the people that I saw on that stage, because the Universe knows how much emotional, mental, and physical energy I invested in this organization (btw I'm still waiting for my 🏆). Oh well, but I guess that's really what my role was, and I'm proud to say that I was able to do my part (and more).

• Listening to new music from The 1975. This was an album that I really anticipated, and I felt so happy to be excited again about something.
• Having bonding time with mom while doing the groceries and other errands. We just had some talk about the recent life changes that we were experiencing and I couldn't help but reflect on where I was currently at and where I wanted to go. I was just thankful to have these moments with my loved ones, which I know I would cherish forever.
• Feeling overwhelmed with things. It's half of the year, but I still felt like I was catching up with life, and failing at it. I have felt this way since February, and the nagging feeling just didn't seem to go away. There were a lot of life changes that happened during the month, and I think that added to the toll (💻, 🚗,🤵👰, 💤, 🏔️). There were so many things that were out of my control, and that really stressed me out. But I was learning to cope, little by little.
• Reprogramming my finances. Because of the recent changes that also involved changes in my finances, part of adjusting and coping was to deprioritize some allotments from my budget list. I transferred my budget tracker from YNAB to Buxfer. I also canceled my Patreon subscriptions (huhu I'm so sorry 😭). I also was supposed to downgrade my phone plan (but it didn't push through, maybe in the future). I also was able to stop myself from splurging on merch items like the AWKP Starter Pück. I'm proud of myself for being able to hold back the urge to buy 🤣.
• Feeling further and further lost in life. 😢And the existential crisis continues. I just felt so out of place in this world during this time. I felt like I'm losing my identity -- as a friend, as a colleague, as a toastmaster, as me. As I continue to fail with my tasks and responsibilities, the feeling of "being irrelevant" also started to feel more pronounced. 😔
• Retracing old steps. I commuted to the office for the first time in two years. It was surprising for me because it felt like I was walking in a dream. I had to remember certain routines during the commute. I realized that it's so tiring to commute (or maybe I'm just getting old 👵).

• I have explored lots of new places via driving like the nearby mall that I haven't visited in a while.
• I'm getting good with back parking. ✨
• I was able to drive my friends around Antipolo. And it was an experience. 😫
• We got our pets vaccinated. YAY.

• Car Dashcam. Since installing the dashcam on the car, I felt more secure on the road. 😁
• Music Body Spirit Playlist. I needed all the tools that could lower my stress and anxiety levels, and, well the Universe led me to discovering this artist on Spotify. It's all instrumental music that is so calming, and is perfect for meditation or if you need some help falling asleep.
• Hot and Cold Dispenser (Bottom Load). I bought this appliance for home, and indeed it was a big game changer for everyone in the house. We now have hot and cold water readily available any time of the day. Plus, water is being loaded at the bottom so we didn't have to carry heavy jugs of water to the kitchen anymore! 😁
• Buxfer. This was my YNAB-alternative discovery for this month, and I was relieved to recognize that this budget tracker would work for me too.

• Music preserves my sanity.
• Live your life for yourself, not for anyone else.
• Every day is a new beginning.
• The Universe will give you things that you think you deserve.
• Learn to set healthy boundaries.

• Trying different productivity tips, and revising them as needed. This month served as some experiment time to test some work productivity hacks. Since it really takes time for me to be "in the zone" during the weekday working hours, I tried this hack of not checking my email and slack messages during pomodoro hours, and only checking them during breaks. It was very effective for me as I was able to progress well on my tasks. However, it was not that efficient for my teammates. It took me at least 20 minutes to respond to most of my teammate's messages and they didn't appreciate that. 😅 I guess this method does not work well with my current setup. 
• I'm still in a languishing state. Is this still a phase? 😢I think my anxiety exacerbated because of some series of events, wherein the capstone was "that talk" that made nightmares come true for a person who has impostor's syndrome. I felt my reflex defense mechanism trying to protect me from this experience, but I knew the best way to process this experience was to confront the pain and learn my lessons. As of this writing (7 months later), I'm not sure if I could confidently say that I have moved on and learned. 😢 I don't know, I think I'm still sorting out my feelings. In the process, I am learning to become more compassionate to myself.
• Spaying our cat. I'm so happy I got to finally do this. We were able to spay one of our indoor female cats. It was my first time to have this done so I was slightly worried. Good thing everything went well.
  
  

  We brought 2 of our female cats to the spay center. However, our other cat was evaluated as too thin so her spay procedure was canceled. 😅 We'll just reschedule her appointment. Thank you PPBCC for the affordable spay rates! Patty is now spayed. Yay!

• I received my mother's approval for my driving skills. 🤣
• I completed my second stint as Toastmaster of the Day. This time around was easier. I noticed that I felt more comfortable under that kind of pressure. I also learned that doing TOD is part-prepared-part-impromptu speech. It's good to do some adlibs here and there to change the monotony of just reading the lines of a script. I'm so happy I got to open and share that stage with my fellow Toastmasters.
• I also became Toastmaster of the day for the Speakathon event. 💪🔥
• I was able to drive to the office. WOOHOO! It was my first time driving along Skyway so this was a huge milestone for me.
• I was able to drive to Alabang to meet up with some friends. Again, another badge on my driving journey. 😁

• This podcast episode about standards. I realized that for me to grow, I need to aim for a higher goal that makes me feel uncomfortable but not painful.
• Applying oil on the underarm, several minutes before taking a bath, to reduce chicken skin. This is a beauty hack that I needed, so thank you sis for sharing this! 🥰 
• Coffee maker. A good colleague of mine resigned from the office, and one item that he passed down to me (or should I say item that I asked for LOL) is the coffee maker that we used to brew coffee at the office. 😅 We had great memories brewing coffee for our group of friends. I am honored to have received the coffee maker. ☕✨

• Things can get better.
• Take care of your body, or else it will charge you later.
• It was just all in my head.
• Manage your temper/anxiety behind the wheel.
• Evenings are for sleeping, not for cramming work.

Chapter II: Your Inner Roommate

Chapter III: Who Are You?

Chapter IV: The Lucid Self

Chapter VII: Transcending the Tendency to Close

Chapter VIII: Let Go Now or Fall

Chapter IX: Removing the Inner Thorn

Chapter X: Stealing Freedom for Your Soul

Chapter XI: Pain, The Price of Freedom

Chapter XII: Taking Down the Walls

Chapter XIII: Far, Far Beyond

Chapter XIV: Letting Go of False Solidity

Chapter XV: The Path of Unconditional Happiness

Chapter XVII: Contemplating Death

Chapter XVIII: The Secret of the Middle Way 

Chapter XIX: The Loving Eyes of God