I am starting to realize  several things again. I've been posting here a lot about my thoughts regarding this matter. At first I was in favor of argument A. Then something happened that made me agree with argument B. But now, I am going back to the side of argument A.

I don't know why but I am seeing the situation now in a whole different way. Maybe because of several things that happened recently, it became inevitable for my decision to come to this. It would take a lot of sacrifice on my side I know, and a lot of self-discipline would be needed too. I told myself several times that I would benefit in this situation if I would just stick to my decision from the start.

What I'm just worrying about is my capability to survive the expected things to happen. Would I endure all of that? I'm afraid I'm not yet ready. :( Would all of it be worth it?

I guess I would be really sticking with the original decision. I am deeply praying that I pass all challenges to come and emerge as a stronger person in the end. Help me God.