Paradigm Shift

February 25, 2018

Is this life's way of making me ready for greater challenges in life? Or is this the start of that rough path to being strong and mature? For the past 8 years, I've been relishing my youth and just enjoyed what life has to offer. I liked investing in experiences - workshops, concerts, local/international getaways. Name it, and I've done it. Now I'm on my stage in my life wherein I'm ready to get serious, meaning ready to start thinking and planning seriously about what lies ahead.

I'm getting older, and so are my parents. I've been feeling fulfilled because I am able to give back to them all the hardships they've done for me when I was still studying. Heaven knows what they had to endure to make me finish school. I feel proud when I see them now just chilling out at the sofa and watching their favorite primetime show. They deserve everything they have now. The pride I feel whenever I give back to them never goes away since the very first paycheck I got from my first work. 

This weekend, my mom talked to me that dad has a heart condition.  She said she hasn't told this to my sister or to any of my brothers. The doctor said he's not allowed to drive long distances anymore. Then mom continued talking about meeting with all of my siblings to talk about the inevitable. Dad doesn't really want to talk about it, but mom knows it's unavoidable. For the longest time, these thoughts lingered at the back of my mind. I've already accepted that it's bound to happen (I even did lots of decisions just so that I'd be ready in case it happens), but to actually talk about it... I think it just make things more real. Since the second my mom told me about dad's condition, it made death feel nearer.

All I pray to the Universe is that I'd be ready when that time happens. I pray that I will be strong.

From this day moving forward, my goal is to help my parents with any way that I can. I will -

  • avoid doing overtime, go home earlier during the weekdays
  • spend the weekends for family
  • I'll drive instead whenever I can (which I've actually done today, and good thing we were able to arrive home unscathed)

I know nothing will prepare me for that moment, but I pray I won't have regrets because of something I did / didn't do. I'll have to apologize to my friends if I decline invites, because I'll need to spend more time at home. Also, I'll need to save up.

I know publishing these thoughts on this blog is the same as telling everything to the world. Currently the blog is my only outlet for my deepest feelings, so please bear with me. I just needed to take this heavy feeling off my chest. 

No more play. Time to get serious with life.

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2 (mga) komento

  1. Kat, I hope your dad gets well. Good decision to spend more time with the family. And take lots of pictures too ha! Be strong! *hugs*


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