Life Logs: A Heartful of Gratitude

November 24, 2018

It's Friday night 9PM (well at least when I started writing this), The 1975 songs blasting inside my room. Ahhh, I am in my happy place right now. It's been 2 months since I last did a life log and how the energies have been reversed.

Inserting a photo I took at Nami Island, South Korea... cause why not? πŸ˜…

The last few weeks have been a blur because the Universe has given me a lot to digest in. First of all I've just been promoted at work (of which I aimed at the start of the year, and good heavens the effort I did to finally make it happen) and I am very very humbly thankful for that. I admit I shamelessly cried the minute I learned of it, and thankfully it was only in the presence of one of my closest friends (emotionally and geographically). Thankfully she's a great friend and just calmly congratulated me while I shed ugly tears. Typing this now I realized why I cried - it was in that moment that I felt a huge burden lift off me, that baggage that contained a lot self-depreciating thoughts which I have been carrying for the longest time. I finally received that recognition that hey you are actually doing something well. 😊 It was heartwarming to know that one person, who was the first to greet me for this success, was actually looking out for me and told me with pride that he knew it for some time now and he was very happy for me. κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„ 😭!

Later that day we would discover that my same friend (and other people from the team) also had reached that same milestone. I felt relieved because I felt genuinely happy for them. Finally, things were happening and people got the rightful recognition for them. This is one huge progress (among other things πŸ‘€) and I hope our team continues to walk in this direction.

Second, I finally realized that I am ready to venture out somewhere new. As a subtle opportunity presented itself, I felt that I was ready to do the leap of faith. I seriously considered it. Although in the end the possibility of making it happen went down to zero, I was happy to know that given that chance, I was game to accept it. Because of that, I felt that my comfort zone has widened, and that I am braver to extend my horizon. I guess I'll just have to stick to my original plan for now. Who knows what set of cards the Universe will give to me? When that happens, I have to be ready.

Third, my solo adventure next year is starting to take shape. I have already listed concrete steps to lead me to prepare everything for that trip (I hope I could follow through them smoothly 😁). I have already proved to myself that I can venture to places alone (*ehem* concerts, movies?) although recently I came to this realization that it is really different if  there's someone to share those experience with. Thankfully for that trip, I'll be having company, even if just for selected days, to save myself from being crazy while I walk the lonely streets of that busy city.

Fourth, my bond with my closest friends is becoming even stronger. It's Sagittarius period now and I am ever so happy to share my zodiac with these people. Even the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator nods on our friendship. According to that test, our personalities are very compatible with each other. All three of us are under the Diplomats category. Our favorite activity is to just chat while drinking our favorite coffee (and cake!) at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. I call this our "Chamber of Secrets" sessions (an ode to my good old favorite HP series) because we talk about everything. It's like our flasks are always  spiked with Veritaserum (for the Muggles, it is a Truth Potion) as we talk about the latest happenings in our lives (and sometimes chatter about other people πŸ˜‚). It is thus implied that we are bonded by the Unbreakable Vow. Yes, I'd rather die than spill the secrets that we have shared with each other. We've shed tears of joy and remorse during these sessions and I've always didn't want the day/night to end when I am with these two. I've said this before - those sessions are the kind of memories that will matter to me in this life. Those are the happy memories that I will hold on to if the time comes the darkness unfolds again within me, aiding me to produce a very powerful Patronus that can drive hundreds of approaching dementors in my life.

Erm that last paragraph is proof that the Potterhead in me is alive and kicking again, thanks to the re-read that I'm doing on the Harry Potter series (I just finished Deathly Hallows!) + my discovery of the Binge Mode Harry Potter podcast! It was all in perfect timing to prep me for Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald. I was so hyped with this that I went to see the movie the first day of screening. I'm slowly falling for the charm of Eddie Redmayne πŸ˜ (which reminds me I need to see his other films, specifically Danish Girl and Theory of Everything). I super loved it when the Hogwarts castle appeared (with Hedwig's Theme playing on the background) in the movie. My whole body just vibrated with goosebumps. I actually stayed in the cinema 'til the end to check if there was a post-credits scene, but unfortunately there's none and I slightly felt ashamed when I realized I was actually the last to leave the theater. πŸ˜…

For a change this log is composed of happy sparkles of rainbows with flowers and unicorns! In this moment, I can honestly say that I am happy. πŸ˜‡ In case I get gloomy again (which I know for sure will happen), as my friend said, I can just go back to that memory of hearing a fart strategically released during an awkward dead-air moment in a team meeting. Just thinking about it now is making me giggle.

There's  just one slight hiccup that happened, and I am ashamed I had to shush away people who had the best intentions for me. 😒 I'm currently figuring out why I reacted that way. I hope they would continue to be patient with me.

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