During the wee hours of that morning, I woke up and started to cry. I believe it was all due to the build up of anxiety that I felt for the past few weeks. I guess things have reached its tipping point emotionally. I was very much aware that this stress I am feeling is baseless and it all roots down to the fear of the unknown. My logical mind knows that this is something that will always be out of my control, and thus there's really no sense for me to even use my energy to worry about it. All my efforts will just go to waste. It's like riding a rocking chair and wanting to get to that table across the room -- you will never get there, unless you make the practical action of actually standing up and walking towards it.

Well, things are easier said than done, and so I found myself looking for things that could give me comfort. Sometimes I go to music to ease my anxiety. I have also turned to wellness tools in the past... they say if you are truly desperate, you will hold onto anything that you think might work.

And so this time, I turned to my cards for some guidance. I own a set of Clow Cards (yup, from that anime) and this is not the first time I used it to confront an issue that I am bothered about at that moment. My perspective with using the cards is that the answers that "I get from them" don't really come from them, but instead they come from me. Let's take the mirror for an example. The image you see there doesn't really come from it, right? It just reflects it's surroundings. It's the same thing with the cards. For me, my relationship with the cards is similar with that of a mirror. My interpretation of the message will always be the reflection of what I want to see. Reading the cards is like tapping to your higher consciousness. Most of the times, we just forget because we are just too distracted or emotional, but the answers are already within us... the cards are just helping us to see it clearer. 🎴✨

Because I couldn't sleep anymore that morning, I got the cards and started my reading. I applied the process of cleansing, grounding, and shielding that I learned recently and I found them really effective in clearing my mind and relaxing my space. 

And this is what the cards had to say...

I have my story already played out in my mind (what would happen to me, what my siblings would do, etc). I have already written what my life would be up until retirement (assuming I reach that stage). I already have this path that I am following in my mind, and because of these beliefs, I feel like I would forever be stuck to where I am now.

Believe in the power of Karma. Let this Universal law govern and guide every action that I will do in my life. Remember: You reap what you sow, so I have to make sure that I sow the right stuff. 😉

I can't wait for certain things to happen (💑), but unfortunately those things will always be out of my control. I need to be patient and believe in what the Universe will give to me.