Clow Card Reading (September 8, 2020)

September 11, 2020

During the wee hours of that morning, I woke up and started to cry. I believe it was all due to the build up of anxiety that I felt for the past few weeks. I guess things have reached its tipping point emotionally. I was very much aware that this stress I am feeling is baseless and it all roots down to the fear of the unknown. My logical mind knows that this is something that will always be out of my control, and thus there's really no sense for me to even use my energy to worry about it. All my efforts will just go to waste. It's like riding a rocking chair and wanting to get to that table across the room -- you will never get there, unless you make the practical action of actually standing up and walking towards it.

Well, things are easier said than done, and so I found myself looking for things that could give me comfort. Sometimes I go to music to ease my anxiety. I have also turned to wellness tools in the past... they say if you are truly desperate, you will hold onto anything that you think might work.

And so this time, I turned to my cards for some guidance. I own a set of Clow Cards (yup, from that anime) and this is not the first time I used it to confront an issue that I am bothered about at that moment. My perspective with using the cards is that the answers that "I get from them" don't really come from them, but instead they come from me. Let's take the mirror for an example. The image you see there doesn't really come from it, right? It just reflects it's surroundings. It's the same thing with the cards. For me, my relationship with the cards is similar with that of a mirror. My interpretation of the message will always be the reflection of what I want to see. Reading the cards is like tapping to your higher consciousness. Most of the times, we just forget because we are just too distracted or emotional, but the answers are already within us... the cards are just helping us to see it clearer. 🎴✨

Because I couldn't sleep anymore that morning, I got the cards and started my reading. I applied the process of cleansing, grounding, and shielding that I learned recently and I found them really effective in clearing my mind and relaxing my space. 

And this is what the cards had to say...

Problem: The Wood

I feel very grounded and unmovable at this point in my life. I am very much satisfied with what I have right now, and honestly I have been reaping all the hard work that I have done in the past. I am proud to have the role of being the provider. However, this is becoming a source of my worry because I want to go out and experience something more... but I feel rooted on this spot. 😔

Cause: The Create

I have my story already played out in my mind (what would happen to me, what my siblings would do, etc). I have already written what my life would be up until retirement (assuming I reach that stage). I already have this path that I am following in my mind, and because of these beliefs, I feel like I would forever be stuck to where I am now.

Past Problem(s): The Wave

I've had my dark times in the past, but I am proud to say that I'm doing way way better than before. I will always credit it to that step that I took that became the turning point of it all, and slowly I am learning my lessons from all those experiences (also those webinars that I attended recently really helped)! But you know sometimes it's hard to steer away from your old ways. There are still times that I feel insufficient, I feel that I am not good enough. And I've known that these feelings come and go occasionally in waves, and that this will always be a continuing process of healing, and of me learning to being kind to myself and to loving myself.

Surrounding Circumstances: The Dark

Fear of the unknown. As simple as that.

Solution: The Little

 Take things as they come. Baby steps. Go one step at a time (hellooo look at your blog's tag line!). All things go back to this very simple mantra (I should have proceeded with my original idea of having this inked on me 😅). I am in the same footing as everyone else in this life. Not a single person (however powerful or rich or smart they are) knows 100% what will happen to them. That's one of the great equalizer of this life. I am just as clueless as the next person out there. So in that context, find comfort, knowing that no one is really behind you or in front of you in this race. Actually, it's not even a race in the first place, it is a journey. Just make the most out of it. As morbid as it sounds, no one would make it out alive anyway. So just enjoy the ride. It's just a ride.

Solution's Keyword: The Shadow

Believe in the power of Karma. Let this Universal law govern and guide every action that I will do in my life. Remember: You reap what you sow, so I have to make sure that I sow the right stuff. 😉

Obstacle: The Dash

I can't wait for certain things to happen (💑), but unfortunately those things will always be out of my control. I need to be patient and believe in what the Universe will give to me.

Future: The Float

I will see / do amazing things that I have never imagined. And I will love it very much (I always liked gawking by the window on a plane, and I very much know how much I fantasize flying up in the sky). Life will bring me to unexpected places, I just need to hop on, have that leap of faith and let the winds guide me to my destiny. The Universe will place me where I needed to be. As they say, I will be at the right place at the right time.

Outcome: The Sweet

Wherever life takes me, I will create great memories that I will be able to cherish upon. I will be okay. 😊

How Others See the Problem: The Change

This is just a phase. Others see me as someone that is so full of potential, with powers that are just waiting to be unleashed in the right time. They cannot wait to see the great things that I will be able to accomplish in this life. I am just not seeing myself clearly. Others know that this is not my full form, and I'm still growing some wings that will allow me to fly high in the sky to achieve my goals in life.

Embarrassing as it may seem, I cried so hard after interpreting these cards. I already knew these lessons within myself... I just needed some reminding. I had to tell myself that I didn't reach this stage in my life on my own. Up until now, I still couldn't believe I actually graduated from a top state university which is my dream school. I still couldn't believe I was able to earn my undergraduate degree on time. I couldn't believe that I'm in this awesome job with such awesome people. I still couldn't believe that I was able to pull off my first ever solo trip in Tokyo. 

And these brilliant things I never achieved on my own. People that surrounded me contributed on this in one way and another. This also applies for my future. I shouldn't own everything, and make myself believe that I should take control of everything. It wouldn't all depend on me. The Universe will play its part, too. The people around me will play their part, too. Also, I should never feel that I am alone. I am part of something great (and this also circles back to what my org has thought me 🔭).

I thanked my cards and the Universe for this message. I really needed to realize these things, and I am just also so grateful that I have the tools to hear my inner voice more clearly. I never thought these cards would play a role like this in my life, when the only reason that I wanted to have one was because I was really a fan of the anime when I was in elementary. 

That really shows that life is like a box of chocolates, right? 🍫

  • Share:

You Might Also Like

0 (mga) komento

I would love to hear your thoughts! ✨