Life Logs: February 2022

April 02, 2022

The first month of the year felt like a year in itself, meanwhile the second month came and went in the blink of an eye. Indeed, time is relative, and it's all about perception.

πŸ’ƒ Experiences
  • Experiencing Theta Healing. Ever since I heard about this healing modality through The Eve's Drop podcast in early 2020, I have been consistently curious about it. I've heard a lot of things about it, both the positive and the negative. It became a household name for me, especially during my journey in 2020 when I became hooked with attending Third Eye Wellness' online webinars.

    This month, I finally got to experience it myself. TEW held a Virtual Healing Clinic, wherein healers (a.k.a. Theta Healing practitioners) were available to give a free 20-minute healing session to anyone that were interested. Attendees were free to give any amount as a donation, and proceeds for this particular session went to @pawssionproject.

    It was held during a holiday, and it just felt right for me to attend the webinar. I volunteered as the demo client, wherein Maisha Chulani, one of the healers, did a theta healing session with me, to demonstrate how it's done to the rest of the attendees. I was already familiar with the proceedings, having heard it over at The Eve's Drop podcast.

    I guess the courage came from Toastmasters, I went for it when they opened the floor for a volunteer. I originally had a topic of concern for consultation with a healer, but I changed it last minute when I saw it in one of their introductory slides. I thought since I'm going to participate in a demo lesson, I'll just choose a challenge that I can still relate to, but something that everyone will be familiar with also. The concern I presented was my struggle to lose weight because I don't have time to exercise. It would just be a light topic... or so I thought.

    I knew I would be prompted to answer a series of questions, with a goal of understanding the root of my struggles to lose weight, and oh my, I was not ready to shed some tears.😡I was surprised myself when I felt the emotions welling up, but I guess I was really holding onto these inner struggles, and the challenge of losing weight was just one of the after effects on the outside. After Maisha successfully guided me in realizing the root cause of my issue, she gave me affirmations for me to do so that my new belief would be part of my system.

    While Maisha was running the session with me, Sanaiyah, the founder of TEW, was giving some supporting explanations on the Zoom chat. I got to note some of them when I saw them after my demo session, and I am putting them here:

    All our physical issues are connected to what is going on with us emotionally and mentally. Our body is alerting us to that with the physical pain or discomfort.

    It’s almost like Maisha is shifting Kath’s brain towards a much better perspective and view of things that will help her feel happier and better.

    She is clearing/removing her negative beliefs (faulty conclusions she made in her life that has affected her behavior and reactions in life).

    I'm so happy I got to participate in this virtual clinic. Surprisingly, I didn't feel all self-conscious or starstruck with Maisha and Sanaiyah, both whom I have followed on SNS and participated in their virtual meditation sessions online. For sure, my attitude towards exercise has truly shifted since then. I don't see it now as something like an ordeal, but more of a process of self-care. πŸ’–
  • Winning in an emotional discussion. When your actions are driven by emotions, most of the time, logic gets thrown out of the window. This was the likely outcome of a scenario that I experienced during a specific conversation with my dad. Fortunately, I was able to stay grounded and I stuck with facts. At the end of the conversation, it was clear for both of the parties that we were just aiming to protect the family. Truly, the pandemic really pushed me to the edge, especially in terms of thinking about the welfare of my parents. I'm very deeply grateful that we were able to pass that difficulty through the best-case scenario.  
  • Allowing my parents to commute. Because of one thing and another, we arrived in the situation wherein my parents had to take public transportation to their destination. Being the paranoid that I was, I asked them to take a Grab that I could book for them. However, they thought it was not the best route, and so I reluctantly conceded. I calmed myself as I waited for them to return, and I'm thankful that they were able to do their errands outside without much hassle. 😌
  • Locking in on the plan. πŸš— For the longest time, I have been planning to purchase one for myself, but it got deprioritized along the way. It popped up on my radar when I realized that it would be difficult for me to commute in case we have to report to the office again, and also, I don't want my parents to commute ever again. And so since late last year, I have been trimming down my options. And this month, I finally did the first concrete steps to put the plan in motion.
  • Spending some bonding time with the siblings. Related to my locked-in goal (πŸš—), my siblings gave me some of their time to accompany me in choosing the right one for me. We ended up going around the city, and during the trip, we had some great conversations. I realized that it's been so long since we had this kind of sibling-bonding moment, just us, without the kids and our parents, just like the old times. I'm so happy we got to create those awesome memories that day. I shared this happy memory with my friend Mai and she said that was so nice and advised me to do this often with my siblings. πŸ’—
  • Realizing how isolated I have been in the past two years. I'm ashamed to admit this, but during my car ride with my siblings, I realized how I really was cooped up inside our house. I saw lots of new buildings, which apparently have been up for a long while already. I felt like my siblings were low-key pitying me, that's why they really were all in support of my planned purchase. Well, I have to say that it's nice to get out into the world again, and through my upcoming access to easier mobility, I hope to be out more frequently in the coming months. 😁

    Actually, this has been the clearest my mind has been in the past... 6 years. Looking back, I think I have gone through some dark periods during that time and it's so refreshing to see the light once more. I could sing Taylor Swift's Daylight for days. πŸ₯° And now, there's no way but up. ⬆️
  • Having the opportunity to continuously learn. I had more opportunities to test my skills, and even though it was definitely out of my comfort zone, I knew I had to do this. It was again a learning experience that I was thankful to have.
  • Coming to realizations and admitting that yes, there are really biases out there. Honestly, I have seen this one coming, but I gave them a chance to prove me wrong. 😞 Unwillingly, I am beginning to accept that there is really something that is not right. How would you speak up if you are the one being favored by that bias? In the long run, I will come out as one of the people who tolerated the system. And soon, time will come that the tables will be turned against me, this time. From the very start, I closely looked upon this specific case. I've seen the output, and it's way beyond my expectations. But I guess it was still not enough for them. I can't blame anyone for how things turned out, because for sure I will be doing the same if placed in the same situation. I think this event contributed to my overall negative headspace (which I am still experiencing as of this writing, two months after). I don't want to think of the worst, but let's see how things would flow moving forward. I'm praying for the best outcome for everyone πŸ™(but still taking note of Taylor Swift's advice along the way).
  • Consulting with the cards. Reading the cards has always been an introspective process for me. There are times that I even cried because the reading was so on point. When I did a reading during this month's full moon regarding a concern related to the above event, well, the answer has never been this straightforward.

    Problem: JUMP
    Past Situation: SNOW
    Current Situation: LOCK
    Solution: FLY

    The DARK card also came out, and I related it to my fear of the unknown, which was also in line with the message I got from my Theta healing session. I'm recognizing the message, Universe. Thank you. ✨
  • Being reminded of our mortality. Life is short, so let's get the most out of it. I got reminded of this sad fact of life when I learned that a fellow RXTMR rusher passed away. I don't know him personally but his Twitter handle became familiar already because I always hear his entries in the show. AshAshBigAsh, thank you for all the happiness and laughter you shared through your very active participation in The Morning Rush. RIP. πŸ“Ώ
  • Receiving goodies from the office. We have lots of online activities being held in the office, because well most events became online due to the pandemic. In one all-hands meeting, the organizing team asked us to sign up if we wanted some office merch. The package with the goodies came this month! My mom got excited because the package was a big box with a US sender address. She even commented that the delivery guy was driving a nice van. πŸ˜‚ I received all the merch items I signed up for: t-shirt, cap, pin, and a magnifying glass. πŸ”Ž
  • Admitting to myself that I am in a period of languishing. I have thoroughly reflected on the reason why I was feeling like this, and my thoughts always went back to the feeling of not being good enough, and it didn't help that recent events seem to validate that, if taken in the wrong context. I am still processing my feelings about this. Slowly, I'm confronting my fears, and focusing on the tools that I can use to overcome this. One silver lining here was that even though I was languishing in that area of my life, I still found joy in working out. This might be the after effect of my Theta healing session, but I am seeing exercises now as my way of doing self-care and something that gives me strength and confidence. πŸ’ͺ
  • Learning to listen to my own needs and not giving in to peer pressure. This month, I had to make one very hard decision: I decided to not participate in a trip with my closest friends. There were several factors that led me to this decision. First and foremost, I have to recognize that the manner of conveying my decision to my friends was not the best method to have been done, but because I was preoccupied during that time, I mindlessly went with the flow without really thinking of the consequences. The Universe gave me a chance to step back and really listen to my thoughts, to confirm if this was what I really wanted. When I finally recognized the answer, I apologetically said my decision to my friends. I know I will feel some regret in the future, but I realized that my priorities have changed. I'm very grateful that my friends understood my decision.   
  • Rearranging the room, again. After being inspired to focus on my physical health, I decided to place my stationary bike inside the room so I could workout without disturbing anyone. Previously it was in the sala so I only got to exercise when no one was watching the television. Now with this new arrangement, I have more flexibility. Also, I love this new room arrangement because now, it feels like there is a division between my work and personal areas. Especially now that I believe working-from-home will be a more permanent kind of setup, I desperately needed this kind of segregation, to preserve my sanity. πŸ˜…

⛰️ Accomplishments / Milestones

I got to present a proposal to a wide range of audiences at work, including directors and VPs from different teams. I volunteered to do it, and this is all thanks to the confidence I got from my Toastmasters sessions. My manager told me I did a great job. πŸ˜ƒπŸ™Œ

🧠Game Changers
  • Food splurges. I have never been comfortable splurging for food, especially if there's really no occasion (i.e. if I'm just feeling stressed or I'm craving for something). But slowly now I'm discovering the pleasure I can get from it. I was craving for some milk tea and so I bought myself some from Tiger Sugar, and also some fries from Mcdo. I really enjoyed that afternoon while I munched on my goodies while watching some Korean drama. πŸ§‹πŸŸ
  • Spotify. I went back to my Spotify account because I just couldn't resist it anymore. I told myself previously that I will just finish my free 6-month subscription on Apple music, and then I will go back to Spotify. Unfortunately, I think the library and listening algorithm of Apple is just not engaging enough for me to frequently listen to music. And so I went back to my regular programming of listening to my Discover Weekly playlist during Mondays and Release Radar during Fridays on Spotify.
  • Smiling Mind app. I have finished with my Sanvello mindfulness journey so I was searching for another meditation app that I can use for everyday meditation. I'm so glad I found this one. The best part of this is that most modules are free! So far, I am enjoying using this. πŸ‘
  • Rebel Coach. It was my first time this month to work with a coach online, a yoga coach specifically. At first I had a 1:1 session, but I decided later on to do a group class because it was more affordable. It's nice to do a yoga class with other people, although nothing beats in-person classes.

🎬 Movie / Series List 
The plot interested me, but I haven't finished the film, still half-way on it.

Love and Leashes
This Korean movie intrigued the moment I saw the trailer on Netflix. I have to say some scenes were rather uncomfortable to watch, but I'm just glad it's just a movie, and not a series. πŸ˜…

Tall Girl 2
I was mildly surprised that there was even a sequel, but I got interested to watch this because I liked the first one. I'm still halfway on it. 🀣

500 Days of Summer
Nothing beats the classic chick flicks. I LOVED THIS ONE SO MUCH, it demanded its own review post.

Forecasting and Weather
This is still an ongoing drama, and I'm liking it so far. 🌦️

πŸ“š Reading List
Pride & Prejudice (Jane Austen)
First Phone Call from Heaven (Mitch Albom)
Money Hacks (Lisa Rowan)
Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One (Joe Dispenza)
Atomic Habits (James Clear)

πŸ‘©‍πŸ’Ό Career - 30% In Progress
πŸ’° Financial - 0% Not Started 😲
πŸ’‘ Personal Development - 50% In Progress
🧘‍♀️ Spiritual - 100% Completed πŸ†
πŸŽ“ Educational - 30% In Progress
❤️ Relationship - 100% Completed πŸ†
πŸ‹️‍♀️ Physical and Health - On Track ✅

πŸ’‘ Takeaways
  • Having more choices makes it more difficult to make a decision. πŸ˜…
  • Let's embrace changes, one step at a time.
  • Learn to say no and be your own person.
  • Train hard, fight easy.
  • Initiate. Know when and how to say what you want. Demand it!

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