January 13, 2018

During the first week of January, I signed up to be part of Arriane Serafico's online class entitled "Braver 2018." Together with 1000+ like-minded individuals who wanted to step up on their goal-setting game this year, we went through a series of exercises for 5 days to reflect more on our goals this year and also to identify what was stopping us from reaching the top.

I have previously joined Arriane's class before at her site The Purposeful Creative (also listened to some of her podcasts). I must say I am really impressed with this woman. She practices what she preaches. She tells her students that she herself struggled with her goals but still pursued them, and the lessons that she teaches in her classes are those she practiced herself to make her goals happen. The class I enrolled on her site was also related to goal setting. I specifically planned to use and implement the tasks in 2017. However, "life happened" (this is one of the most common excuses I read among my #Braver2018 classmates) and I wasn't able to even finish filling out the "My Bravest Year Ever" workbook (but I plan to reuse it for this year).

When I read the email that a free 5-Day Goal Setting class would be opening in a week, I immediately joined. I knew this is the perfect way to jump start my year. I learned which of my (many many) goals really mattered to me. I experienced enlightenment, and I was shocked with the answers that I have written myself in the exercises.

There was that one task we had wherein we were asked to write all the goals that we put off in 2017, and analyze why it happened that way. For me the common theme of the causes was - I didn't have enough time, and I was too tired/sleepy to do my tasks. And guess what I found when I traced further back from this reason? I found out it was all because I was staying at work way past my working hours. I was doing overtime too much. I realized it was not a good habit, and it was negatively affecting me physically, mentally, and emotionally . So I really had to stop. It was a major wake-up call to me. The Universe has been trying to teach me this lesson for so long (hi self, can you please read this post again?) but this time, I heard it loud and clear. I now have a "hard stop" time. Finished or not finished, I have to kick my butt out of office premises.

And so I will change how I will do things this year. I won't do overtime ever again (hmm well of course there will be days that I will need to, but that will be my last last resort). I will work smarter and spend 8 hours of the day more effectively. I have to understand that even though I spend 12+ hours working, the list of tasks will never be fully be finished. I still need to leave some for tomorrow. 😅

My goals for this year are clearer than ever. I now have my eyes locked on the prize. I've already listed goals that I wanted to achieve this year. I will still post my list of goals every quarter on the Goals page of the blog. Expect most of them to become more cryptic because I have some big projects going on currently, and I want people to know it when the right time comes. (help me Universe!)

And yes, the Universe has made its move. It's now my turn to place my cards.

This brings me to one of the issues I wanted to rant out on this blog (I'm expecting no one reads this anyway, so I'm assuming no one would know 😆). Sometimes friends come to you unexpectedly but in the right timing when you needed someone to talk to. That happened to me this week. We were set to meet even before it happened. I'm just so happy I was able to talk, knowing someone is listening, about the challenges that I am about to face. It made it all feel lighter and brighter.

I was placed in a very awkward position, and I didn't like it. If "getting there" involves this kind of "mind game", I'll never want it because in the end, no one really wins. I just wished no names were dropped during that conversation. I have always placed myself as my greatest enemy all the time, and having to point out a person and tell me that I have competition... it just made me feel sick in the guts. Although I know that all intentions were sincere, I can't help but feel sad.

I guess this is what the Universe wants me to experience. Well I surely won't back down. Challenge accepted. I knew I needed to step up, but I will focus on surpassing my current self's achievements, and not compare it with others.

It's only just two weeks into the new year, but I guess I have enough tasks at hand to cover the rest of the year. Game on! 🎮

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