Ever since I started reading cards (which started with Clow Cards and transitioned to the Phantomwise Tarot cards), it became my tool for self-reflection. It's a form of a conversation with myself, unveiling some issues that I didn't know I had. I found out that it's an excellent way to ground myself and listen to my thoughts, being more in tune with the wisdom of my "higher self". 

Since the new moon of this month, I declared an intention to go through the lunar cycles and reflect on my life alongside the phases of the moon. In my current state of life wherein sometimes I fall into a rut, I needed tools to get myself back up. Just like how Martina of KingKogi (one of the YouTubers that I follow) calls this process, I have to build my own ladder 🪜. I have to learn to look after myself, else I would just drown in my thoughts, which will not be a good thing, believe me.

"Life flows in phases." That's a not-so-original quotation, but I am owning that and making it my current life theme. I thrive, I make mistakes, I learn, I reflect. Rinse and repeat. This is just like the moon that goes through each of its phases every month. 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
And so I am beginning this practice for the first quarter moon of November, which happened on the first Saturday of the month. I shuffled my tarot deck, with nothing really particular in my mind. I was open to what the Universe would say to me.

There it was -- the first card was the Two of Cups, two cute rabbits facing each other, sitting each in its own cup. With this card's symbolism, something came to mind. I started to think about this one friendship. And bam, feelings suddenly flooded. As I continued reading the cards, I realized that this thing had been bothering me for some time now. I didn't want to think about it, but my subconscious reacted to it unbeknownst to me. It also became clear to me that this was the root cause of my feelings of isolation and of sadness. I began to recognize that I had these unresolved feelings that made me feel lost and hopeless.

Now that I recognized and acknowledged this issue on a surface level, the cards helped me reflect on it and decipher the method on how I can face this matter. Events that happened after this reading also helped me further understand the message the Universe was giving me. 

I learned that friendships have lots of layers, and it changes through time. This particular friendship has lasted for more than a decade and we have seen each other grow to the person that we are today. Our friendship is just evolving into a new one. I realized that the connection will always be there, it's just that it's a different color and texture now from the one that I am used to. And that is okay. One thing that I grasped now is that I had these feelings of blame that I wanted to throw out to the world, and that's where the heavy emotions were coming from. However, through this reading, I realized that in our situation, no one was at fault. It's just the natural flow of nature. We are both walking our own paths in our life's journey, and no one is to blame if there's a fork in the road and we had to choose different roads to walk by. 

I also slowly understood that this is how adult friendships go. Different sets of expectations come with it. I realized that there are friendships wherein I can bond and connect with them one day and then become radio silent for months, and then suddenly convene together to play a board game one Friday night. It's still counted as a genuine  connection because we show up and give them our time and attention.

Because of these realizations, my heart became at peace. There are no more negative feelings regarding the matter. You know one wonderful thing that I realized? I began to recognize that I'm not as "friendless" as I thought I was. I got friends whom even though I don't talk to everyday, they come to me for life advice so randomly, and me vice-versa. I have friends whom I couldn't answer calls or texts all the time, leaving them in the seen-zone most of the time, but once we get to a call, it's all positive vibes. This is the gift that I received from the Universe through this reading. That's just how adult friendships work. ✨ 

I'm so grateful to the Universe and to the cards for this message. I didn't even know that I needed to have this conversation with myself. I'm liking how this transformed my life perspective now, feeling the sparkling ripple effects it's doing for my overall energy. 🙏