Dealing with COVID-19 Paranoia

March 12, 2020

I am currently at home doing some work because I have deadlines tomorrow, but suddenly I couldn't concentrate on the tasks at hand anymore. As I scrolled various social media outlets, I have learned that there are already 49 confirmed cases of the COVID-19 virus in the country, and just a few minutes ago the Department of Health (DOH) has announced a second death in the country due to complications that worsened because of the corona virus.

I have never felt this scared before for my life. It feels like I'm in some kind of bad dream. We've got some end-of-the-world feels right here. Yes, I am overreacting. It doesn't help that I am a worst-case-scenario thinker, okay. It's really not helping me right now...

What scares me the most in this situation is the fact that my parents, the people I treasure the most in this world, are included in the high-risk group that could have the worst symptoms, due to age and pre-existing conditions. The Universe knows how I value these two souls. I did make decisions and build several habits in the past with the goal of protecting them and making things easier for them. I know -- reality check -- they're already at the sunset phase of their lives, and all I want for them now is to have a happy and comfortable life. 

I hate this feeling of helplessness because I couldn't fully protect them. Since we couldn't see the enemy, the most we could do is blindly avoid them. The most I could do is to secure masks, alcohol, anti-bacterial soaps, and vitamins. I also have settled arrangements to isolate myself from the world for the meantime (oh the wonders of telecommuting) so at least I am minimizing the risk of myself being the virus carrier into our household. This is my best effort, and I know... I know... it will never be fool-proof in the goal of avoiding the disease and protecting my family.

For the past few weeks, my parents from time to time, still had to go out of the house to do errands. Just today, they went to their regular health checkup. Ahh just imagine the paranoia that ensued that. Meanwhile, my dad just chuckled when I desperately attempted to spray him with alcohol as he unloaded the car trunk with the grocery items he bought this afternoon. It's clear that he is not afraid of the virus. I guess his current mindset is "what will be, will be."

Amidst all the paranoia that I am feeling because of the current situation, one good realization came out -- I realized what things mattered to me the most. And I will protect them at all costs.

These are already a given (with all the repeated campaigns and ads around), but in case we still need reminding:
1. Do frequent handwashing (I'm singing Aquaman now every time I do this).
2. Drink multivitamins everyday.
3. Avoid crowded places.
4. Be informed. Stay tuned on the news.

Brilliant way to know you washed your hand enough.

I have been randomly in tears as I processed the progression of recent events (even as I am typing this post) but I know I have to clear my head. Being anxious won't do any good. To avoid having an emotional meltdown (because I tend to sometimes), I'm doing meditations daily (as much as I can) now. I'm also turning to my healing bracelets and semi-precious stones to gain some clarity and emotional balance. Because during these times I will hold on to anything that would work. At the end of the day, I know I have to shelve my irrational fears and emotions and face these challenges as an adult. I hope and pray that the virus gets contained as soon as possible to minimize the number of people that will be affected. I pray that the human race gets through this. 

Universe, please. 📿 

"This too shall pass..."

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